You’re a leader who takes responsibility seriously. You’re tough and tenacious, and you lead by example. But you are still human, and over thousands of years, history has proven that even strong leaders who ignore their limits eventually pay a hefty price.
Now is a good time to step back for a moment and ask yourself: Are there things I should be doing that I have a hard time giving myself permission to do?
Maybe it’s taking time off? Or admitting that my family needs more of my time than I’ve given them? Maybe it’s saying, “I need help with that”? Or the often tough one for high achievers, saying ‘no’ to additional responsibility!
When it comes to that last point, for example, you may feel like you have to accept a new obligation because other people want you to or are depending on you to do it. But you may not be in the right place or well positioned, or it just may not be a priority for you.
With up-and-coming executives, I sometimes see them hesitate to take on and exercise their authority. But it can actually be liberating to give yourself room to say, “I can actually hold someone accountable for a demand that may seem hard or unreasonable. I can ask people to do things they don’t want to do, because it’s for the betterment of the business.”
Sometimes it’s as simple as being able to name the thing that’s holding you back. It may be a competing belief (something you care about equally as much) or a sense of obligation. This can sometimes be the case for executives who feel like they have to solve every problem and be in every meeting. Try giving yourself permission to let things go and trust others to carry the load.
Some leaders hold on to the idea of being seen as professional so tightly that they are willing to sacrifice their own health. But let’s unpack that. What is it worth to be seen in every moment as “professional”? Do you want your children someday to say, “He was professional, but we never saw him”? Or have a team that won’t let their hair down ever and get real with each other?
I have a good friend who often gets roped into becoming the head of the fundraising committee for non-profits. A few years into it, he’ll lament that he doesn’t want to do it but he keeps going based on the perception that “they don’t have anyone else.” While there’s 20 percent legitimacy to this perception, 80 percent of it is self-imposed. The reality is that he never wants to let anybody down, and as people learn this about him, they leverage it against him.
Give yourself permission to do the things you know you should be doing, even when it makes you (or others) a bit uncomfortable. We all need to get out of our comfort zone and grow if we want to be impactful on the things that matter most!