“If you really want to do something,” said the late entrepreneur and author, Jim Rohn, “You’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”

Talking about change is easy. Making it happen is hard, often far harder than you realize. I’ve had clients who didn’t achieve their change goals, and my observation has been that it breaks down in one of three places. I call them the Three Tollgates of Change:

1. Agreeing about what needs to change
2. Being willing to change
3. Committing to the work required to change

To pass through tollgate number one, you need agreement on what the problem is. For example, if a CEO tells her COO that she’s getting feedback that he doesn’t listen to others and doesn’t hear them when they come forward with problems, his dismissing such feedback as “nonsense” would be an immediate deal breaker. Being unwilling to accept that he needs to improve his listening skills means he will never perform at the level she expects from him.

To pass through the second gate, you must be willing to change. In the above example, the COO could have heard the feedback, agreed on the problem definition, and accepted that he needed to change. This, of course, differs greatly from merely giving lip service to the proposed change.

To pass through the third gate may be the most challenging endeavor of all. It’s worthy of a great deal of consideration: how much work is this going to take?

In many cases, you need to come to terms with the fact that this is going to be really hard. It might take a year, or more. You’re going to have to do X, Y and Z. There will be long stretches in which you and perhaps others will be uncomfortable. Some of your core beliefs will be tested and long-standing habits may need to be discarded. Life will get harder, at least initially, and you may need to make significant sacrifices.

Gate three is so formidable that there are times I actually try to talk a client out of making a certain change. Let’s talk about what you are going to go through, I say, and then share a realistic list of the difficult stages or actions that lie ahead. There is no point in attempting change unless you are prepared for the path ahead. It would be foolish to walk into the woods for a 200-mile hike with no tent, food, or way to purify water.

That said, there are two proven ways to generate the necessary motivation to make big changes. The first is looking at the downside for not changing. What negative or painful things will happen if you fail to change? The second is your reward: what important and meaningful payoffs will result from making a successful shift? These might include getting promoted, doubling your revenues, getting more work/life balance, or even fulfilling a lifelong dream.

If you are contemplating change, it makes sense to go into it with your eyes wide open.

Photo Credit: Vidar Nordli-Mathisen via Unsplash